DEAR ABBY: It saddened me to review a minute from "Lacks a Mothering Gene" (Sept. 15). Seven months pregnant, she feels zero for her baby, and her father is mad with her for feeling as she does.
You told her that she should plead this with her obstetrician, and we were certain that once a baby arrived she would tumble in adore with her baby. Not always, Abby. There are, in fact, many situations where mothers do not tumble in adore with their babies.
I have led pregnancy and postpartum support groups for 20 years, and we would have suggested "Lacks" to see someone who is professionally lerned in operative with women who are psychologically unsettled during pregnancy. Sometimes there are multiple, formidable reasons since women feel negatively toward their babies, and she needs a place where she can speak about such matters.
I admire her, since in annoy of her miss of feelings during this time, she's still dynamic to be an glorious mother. we have each certainty that with a correct support, she can be. -- WILLIAM S. MEYER, ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR, DUKE UNIVERSITY
DEAR MR. MEYER: Thank we for lending your imagination and pity your sound advice. Responses to that minute enclosed testimonies from women wanting "Lacks" to know she was not alone. My journal readers comment:
DEAR ABBY: My mom found herself profound shortly after she and my father were married. She was not happy about it, and it caused a lot of conflict. She done my life unbearable. we consider "Lacks" should rethink her options.
It took years of therapy for me to comprehend we was not to censure for my parents' fights or for all that was wrong. Mother was a classical narcissist, and her poisonous attribute with me didn't finish until after her death.
Some women should not be mothers. If they can't be, they should place a child for adoption. That way, a child will have a possibility to grow and flower in a amatory environment. -- R.P. IN CARMICHAEL, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: we struggled by my son's infant-through-preschool years and forced myself to give adult my career to be a stay-at-home mom since I'd been told it was best for him. It was painful for me. we wondered if we was defective.
However, now that my son is school-age, we have detected we am indeed a good mom and adore spending time with him. What we lacked as a "baby mom," we have some-more than done adult for as a "kid mom." As such, we have returned to a workforce and have no shame over dropping off my second child -- a toddler -- during day care.
"Lacks" will find her niche eventually, though she shouldn't kick herself adult while she's looking. -- REBECCA IN FAYETTEVILLE, N.C.
DEAR ABBY: we am a birth doula who assists couples by pregnancies and birth. we don't find each customer with a large swell on a pinkish cloud. we rarely suggest a approved birth doula to assistance by a tough times. They can be found during , a website for a general doula organization. Several doulas can be interviewed in sequence to find a good fit and one who understands a situation. -- BIRTH DOULA IN OREGON
DEAR ABBY: we consider what "Lacks" is feeling is common. Yet we are never ostensible to speak about it. A lady who feels reduction than jubilant about a responsibilities of motherhood is noticed as unwomanly and selfish. Some women are usually not over being mothers, and there's zero wrong with that.
I resented motherhood until we began to concentration on my children as a extraordinary people they are. Reluctant moms should get extraordinary about their children, or get concerned with a good area baby organisation or a primogenitor coach. It helps to have someone to speak to when things get rough. -- NEW MOM IN WASHINGTON
Dear Abby is created by Abigail Van Buren, also famous as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby during or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good recommendation for everybody -- teenagers to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, and check or income sequence for $6 (U.S. supports only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is enclosed in a price.)
News referensi http://news.yahoo.com/not-every-woman-wired-mom-readers-agree-073013313.html
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